That’s My God Ya’ll

I’m struggling to find a time to sit and write a blog. So, I decided to take pieces from my book (Aka large pamphlet) and post them for now! Hopefully soon life will slow down and I’ll write something new!

I’m one hundred percent certain that God is hilarious. I can say this with such conviction because we are created in his image and there are people out there like Kevin James, Owen Wilson, Anjelah Johnson…These are incredibly funny people. If we are created in his image and he has made these funny people then he himself, is in fact, funny. I believe God to be Almighty, All Knowing, Just, Omnipresent…But the character of God that I find the most comfort in is, God is Funny.  Humor in my life is a must. I need to know that when life is kicking me and kicking me, God is like nudging me saying, “Look, Emilee, that llama has a dumb haircut.” He knows me and knows my needs, which is precisely why he created the miniature horse. I mean, c’mon, it’s a horse only small! So funny, right?

Now, I didn’t laugh my way through years of suffering. I didn’t take every challenge through illness and just giggled right past it. I cried a lot. I begged God for mercy often. I had moments where giving up and taking my own life felt justified. I’m weak and I’m human. I know that you’re thinking, “No, Emilee, you’re so amazing. I wish I could be just like you. You’re like, the best thing ever to hit the planet.” I get it, it’s confusing but I assure you, I have had some very ugly moments. I’ve been a big baby on some days and a real monster on other days. I’m ok with admitting this and laying it all out there for you because I trust in God. I trust that God has a plan for my life. I trust that God will avenge me if I get attacked for being transparent. I’m not here to paint a pretty little lie. I’m here for the ugly truth and the funny in between. Ezekiel 25:17 says, “I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them.” I just peed a little. That is some scary stuff right there. I dare you to slam me now.

When I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease (Please note there is no ‘s’ on the end of Lyme) I freaked out a little but was also relieved. I finally had a real diagnosis. I could finally tell people what was happening to me. I could finally mentally slap all the doubters in the face. It was the best worst news ever. I immediately found a Lyme literate doctor and started my journey towards health, or at least the closest thing to it. I felt incredibly blessed that God had put certain people in my path. I was fortunate to have a husband fighting for me. He never questioned whether I might just be depressed. He never gave up on me. He fought for me when I had no fight. The day he said “I Do” was the best day of my life. While my parents were down front looking at Phillip saying, “Sucker! Good luck with that,” I was saying, “Thank you God for such a treasure.” I could go on and on about him but I’ll save that for later. I’m focusing on God right now, geez, stay focused.

God is my whole life. I would have died without him. I would have given up and quit. I trusted he would get me through any pain or suffering I felt that day. It’s actually a miracle that I was aware of God through all the kicking and screaming but I was. I knew, without a doubt, God would come through. He would give the strength I needed, when I needed it. Most often it was through laughter. He would show me something funny and we would laugh together and then move on together. When I say we would laugh together, I don’t mean I would hear an audible laugh from God. I mean I would laugh and just know God was laughing with me. Golly, I’m not crazy. Although, if you hear God audibly I don’t mean to judge, that’s cool. You might think about getting it checked still, but seriously, still cool.

Through the years there have been many dark days. The Lyme disease has caused my body to be in horrific pain. My whole body hurts all the way to the bone. Pain is a prison. You are stuck there and it keeps you in bed and isolated from the world. In these moments it was crucial that God provide. I was incredibly lonely. I hated being in bed away from my family and friends.

I love people. I am what they call a social butterfly. So, to be cooped up in a room was miserable for me. It seemed that every time it got just a little too hard or lonely I would get some stupid text from my BFF. God would use her to take the focus off my pain and circumstances. He would provide a situation for me to laugh or roll my eyes at her bizarreness. God used my best friend often to bring me “back to life.”

Life with Lyme, without God, seems impossible. My heart breaks knowing people are suffering from a chronic illness or a disease without knowing the love of the Lord. They go through this giant battle without seeing the hope that God can provide. This is tragic and just not ok.

The Bible says, “And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” James 5:15. God would raise me up constantly, daily, hourly… What a gift I was given through such a hard time. God is the answer people, so quit being stubborn and give your life to him. I demand you believe in God!

I totally nailed that speech! I’m sure thousands just gave their lives to Jesus. Gold crown in heaven, check!

Everyone Needs A Little Weirdo

In 2011 we had three kids and completely done forming our little family. God had a very different plan for us and miraculously put a bun in the oven. Shamefully, I was devastated. The youngest was 4 and I was SO done having babies. Now, in my defense I had very rough pregnancies and my labors were pretty awful too. Plus, I was very sick and we didn’t yet know why. So we were scared that this mystery illness was going to kill me or the baby or maybe even both. But God, in all His hilarity, thought it was the perfect time to bring in a child.

Her pregnancy was as awful as suspected. I only left my bed to go to the bathroom. My husband had to help bathe me because the pain and weakness was so severe I couldn’t manage on my own. It was incredibly hard but definitely brought me closer to God!

Her birth was super dramatic, which now seeing her personality is of no surprise. This kid is a total weirdo!

She understood humor at, what I thought, was a very early age. She would laugh at jokes in movies way before the others did. She was witty and sarcastic the moment she started to speak.

One time when she was around 6 months we were driving in the van and our older daughter was in the far back seat. The baby was directly in front of her and facing her in the car seat. Well, the older girl (5 years) ended up getting sick and started projectile vomiting all over the van. Ewwwww! Well, our precious little weirdo starts belly laughing! She thinks it’s absolutely hysterical.

She is now 7 years old and still is just as witty. She says stuff all the time that just crack us up. She has these great facial expressions to go along with all her drama and wit. She also makes up words that we all end up using as if it’s now in good ol’ Webster.

Examples…..

Argusation– (noun) A word used to refer to someone who is having an argument conversation with another person.

Weeganwhile– (noun)  A small cart with a single wheel at the front and two supporting legs and two handles at the rear. (you may know it as a wheelbarrow)

Glamsation– (noun) A statement that is fancier then an ordinary explanation.

Hesicoat–  (noun) An optical instrument designed to make distant objects appear nearer.

Asktren– (verb) The process of asking a question.

She’s also a bit on the sassy side. Which I understand I should get under control immediately but it’s so hard when the things that come out of her mouth are so funny and she is after all the baby of the family. Don’t judge me!

Examples of sarcasm and sass…..

She tells her brother she is hungry. He says, “No you’re not.” She says, “(brother!) You literally don’t know my life!”

At age three she receives a gift from our very best friends. It’s a shirt from the place they had just visited. All the kids got one and were happy and grateful.  All the kids are reading the shirt and telling me what it says. She chimes in and says, “this shirt says, ‘This shirt is lame.” Thank God the friends weren’t around at this point!

One night I’m cooking dinner and she sees its chicken and decides she wont like it. She tells me that the doctor says she can’t have it because she’s allergic to it. She was three years old!!!

She wasn’t in our plans but in God’s and I’m so thankful. He knows better. She came into our lives when we were slowly watching me die. We were scared, depressed and lost. God looked at us and thought, this family needs a little weirdo. She was the exact thing we needed at that time. She brought life back into our home. God is merciful and will provide in our darkest hour. Sometimes what He is providing looks impossible. Sometimes it even looks like the very thing that will kill you. But He promises “those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30)

I will leave you with my baby girls wisest statement to date….

People shouldn’t call themselves dumb, unless their dumb. Then they should call themselves dumb.